if this is what rain on my skin feels like. I want to feel it forever, again and again. I thought it through: the same terrifying scenes in front of my closed eyes. I know I can’t change anything of this but I want you to untie the knot that holds me to the ground. Now I know, I am lost without you. It’s damn true, I feel useless without you. I watched my dreams die too many times. Please not this time. I promise I will never ever beg again, if you decide to hold my hand. My expectations will always stay memories of failures. That’s why I wish you won’t stay a line in a song, but a part of my life. All my time, I spend waiting and waiting for a light like you. Your appearance shines brighter than everything I’ve ever seen. You’d say I was looking for someone to fall in love. The fucking truth be told I was just searching myself. What a beautiful problem. What a beautiful nothing. Now it’s me, on my knees. Alone and scared: I still hate these nights. You mean everything to me and you could change the way I am, as I would fucking let you do it.
Track Name: When I Was 16, I Killed Myself
when I was 16, I killed myself.
I don’t laugh anymore. When I was 16, I killed myself. "Choose life, choose a family” and I whispered no. I remember your shaking voice when I let you down.but did you see the tears I shed when you took another sip. You had the look in your eyes that said it all, but believe me when I say I used to love my life. But you took that from me and I keep dreaming.. I keep wishing. I always wondered how it would be without you. I drank the last coffee and wrote it down: My whole life.the bitter taste of all the memories when you touched my hands.swallowed down, forgotten.. but I will never forgive. I light a cigarette and think of all my favorite scenes.just to forget the sound of your voice. I take a deep breath trying to feel it inside my hands.nothing but a memory fading into the atmosphere.
Now I am on my own. I am finally free. I am who I used to be.. No more thoughts holding me back. I won over you. No more regrets keeping me down. I lost everything. Expectations kept me awake and I woke up every night. When the first tear dropped, I knew I couldn’t change a thing. My dreams seemed endless but I left life for a better place. I am disenchanted. We are all the same.nothing changes. No one cares. We are all the same. If life scares you to death, you and me: we feel the same. We feel the same.